He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
Groucho MarxAnd stop pointing that beard at me, it might go off!
Groucho MarxIf I hold you any closer I'll be in back of you!
Groucho MarxPoliceman: "A hermit eh? Then why's your table set for four?"
Groucho: "That's nothing. My alarm clock is set for eight.
Groucho: You know I think you're the most beautiful woman in the world?
Woman: Really?
Groucho: No, but I don't mind lying if it gets me somewhere.
Do you mind if I don't smoke?
Groucho MarxDon't look now, but there's one man too many in this room, and I think it's you.
Groucho MarxI'll teach you to kick me...'
You don't need to teach me--I already know how!
I've got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
Groucho MarxTags: insult
I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.
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