If you give a man a hammer, he thinks he can solve all problems by pounding. Well, God gave men penises....
Jacob M. AppelAnother family crisis: The rabbit goes blind.
Jacob M. AppelTags: humor short-story rabbits
If God wanted teenagers to be abstinent, puberty would begin at twenty.
Jacob M. AppelPatriotism is being convinced your country is better because you were born in it.
Jacob M. AppelTags: nationalism patriotism birth american-exceptionalism patriots
Even a poor tour guide is entitled to some happiness.
Jacob M. AppelTags: happiness love fiddler-on-the-roof tour-guide
Maybe life involves the pairing of unsuitable people, those who wait and those who keep others waiting, and the key to happiness is finding the one person with whom you share the same internal chronometer.
Jacob M. AppelTags: life happiness love sex dating life-lessons waiting dating-advice mating dating-tips chronometer
An American man endowed with sufficient wealth can purchase anything, but an American woman endowed with sufficient beauty does not need to.
Jacob M. AppelI used to dream of true love; now I'm open to false, but convincing....
Jacob M. AppelTags: truth love sex relationships dating aging expectations relationship-advice love-advice lower-standards
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