If you give a man a hammer, he thinks he can solve all problems by pounding. Well, God gave men penises....

Jacob M. Appel

Tag: humor men sex hammer



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Another family crisis: The rabbit goes blind.

Jacob M. Appel

Tag: humor short-story rabbits



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If God wanted teenagers to be abstinent, puberty would begin at twenty.

Jacob M. Appel

Tag: teenagers puberty



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Patriotism is being convinced your country is better because you were born in it.

Jacob M. Appel

Tag: nationalism patriotism birth american-exceptionalism patriots



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Even a poor tour guide is entitled to some happiness.

Jacob M. Appel

Tag: happiness love fiddler-on-the-roof tour-guide



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Maybe life involves the pairing of unsuitable people, those who wait and those who keep others waiting, and the key to happiness is finding the one person with whom you share the same internal chronometer.

Jacob M. Appel

Tag: life happiness love sex dating life-lessons waiting dating-advice mating dating-tips chronometer



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An American man endowed with sufficient wealth can purchase anything, but an American woman endowed with sufficient beauty does not need to.

Jacob M. Appel


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I used to dream of true love; now I'm open to false, but convincing....

Jacob M. Appel

Tag: truth love sex relationships dating aging expectations relationship-advice love-advice lower-standards



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