I smell vampire" -Lula
"You're a Nut" -Stephine
"Well I smell something." -Lula
"Mold." -Stephine
"Yeah. I smell moldy vampire" -Lula

Janet Evanovich

Tags: lula-stephine-plum



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Stephanie Plum, psycho bait.

Janet Evanovich

Tags: humor



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I’ll be real discreet,” Tank said.
As discreet as a six-foot-six, no-neck guy weighing three hundred and fifty pounds, all dressed in black SWAT clothes, with a Glock holstered at his side could be.

Janet Evanovich

Tags: humor



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I disconnected and made a mental note not to call Tank unless I was bleeding profusely, and he was the only other person on earth.

Janet Evanovich

Tags: humor



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Ranger plays by his own set of rules, and I don't have a complete copy.

Janet Evanovich

Tags: humor



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I rolled my eyes so far into the top of my head I almost fell over backward.

Janet Evanovich


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THERE ARE SOME MEN who enter a woman’s life and screw it up forever. Joseph Morelli did this to me—not forever, but periodically.

Janet Evanovich

Tags: humor



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I felt my cell phone buzz, and I looked at the screen. Ranger.
“Your GPS just went blank,” Ranger said when I answered.
“The car exploded.” There was a beat of silence.
“Rafael won the pool,” Ranger said. “Are you okay?”
“Yes.”
“I’ll send someone.

Janet Evanovich

Tags: humor



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You never want to look in a mirror," Lula said. "Men love mirrors. They look at themselves doing the deed and they see Rex the Wonder Horse. Women look at themselves and think they need to renew their membership at the gym.

Janet Evanovich

Tags: humor sex horse mirror



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Mary Lou et moi, on est amies depuis qu’on est toutes petites. J’étais le boute-en-train de service, et elle, le cancre de la classe. « Cancre » n’est peut-être pas le mot juste. Disons que ses objectifs n’étaient pas très hauts. Elle voulait se marier et fonder une famille. Et si elle pouvait épouser le capitaine d’une équipe de foot, c’était encore mieux. [...]
Moi, à la même époque, je rêvais d’épouser Aladin pour qu’il m’emmène sur son tapis volant. Donc, vous voyez : on n’avait pas les mêmes valeurs.

Janet Evanovich

Tags: humorous



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