A brick could be used like love. But not my love, because my love is more like a blanket.


Jarod Kintz


Go to quote


A brick could be used as a weight to keep the cardboard cutout of the Federal Government from blowing over. Well, at least unless a hurricane gets here, which would mean the government knocked down the government.


Jarod Kintz


Go to quote


I need a bone saw—for the meatloaf I made for you, which looks suspiciously like a brick. The gravy is a blanket.


Jarod Kintz


Go to quote


The best part about bowling is pouring in the cereal and the milk. I’ve always believed bowlers make better lovers, because of their impressive physical prowess, and because they really know their way around those three holes. Who wants to spoon?

Jarod Kintz


Go to quote


Love is like building a wall with two bricks and a ton of wind. Obviously you and your lover are bricks.


Jarod Kintz


Go to quote


A brick could be used as a spoon—to eat, not cuddle. OK fine, you can use it to cuddle too.


Jarod Kintz


Go to quote


A blanket could be used to cover up the bald spot all over my chest. That’s why I get so cold at night.


Jarod Kintz


Go to quote


A blanket could be used to travel to exotic places. Just close your eyes and see for yourself.


Jarod Kintz


Go to quote


A blanket could be used to fly interdimensionally. My penis is a wormhole.


Jarod Kintz


Go to quote


A brick could be used as an AFD, or Atmospheric Floating Device, whose sole function is to make people ask WTF?


Jarod Kintz


Go to quote


« first previous
Page 619 of 658.
next last »

©gutesprueche.com

Data privacy

Imprint
Contact
Wir benutzen Cookies

Diese Website verwendet Cookies, um Ihnen die bestmögliche Funktionalität bieten zu können.

OK Ich lehne Cookies ab