So of course that was the moment my motherboard decided to do a short internal scan, throw up its hands, and screech, “Dear Lawd, a VAMPIRE has taken mah blood!” and initiate a general shutdown.
Jennifer RardinTags: jaz-parks jennifer-rardin
Then I got this image of my big toe, painted bright red, suddenly developing a face and a hot Southern temper to match, screaming, "What the hell is wrong with mah bad self?
Jennifer RardinTags: jaz-parks jennifer-rardin
Unbelievable. After what just
happened between us no, I don’t have any right. None at all. We’re barely a
couple. We’re not even sleeping together. I have to-"
What in God’s name are you babbling about?"
"You’re cheating on me!"
"I never cheat.
I am driving an unfamiliar vehicle down a narrow road I've never seen before. Do you really want to be pissing me off right now?
Jennifer RardinCool! Now I can steal some rich old coot's Ferrari and go fishing for marlin with the same piece of jewelry.
Jennifer RardinBesides my professional goals, I have a couple of private ones, my man. One of those is to pet a kangaroo before I leave Australia. I understand there's lots of Eastern Grays around this area. What do you say? Are you in?'
Bergman looked at him like he'd just made the worst financial investment of his life. 'Kangaroos are wild animals. I've heard they claw like girl fighters and kick like jackhammers. You're going to get your skull crushed.'
Cole held up a finger. 'Or I'm going to pet a kangaroo. How cool would that be?
Fear sucks. Because you never know when it will attack. Sometimes it sneaks up behind you, giggling like your best girlfriend from seventh grade. Then it whacks you on the back of the head, takes you straight to your knees before you realize what hit you. Other times you can see it coming, just a dot on the horizon, but you're like a canary in a cage. All you can do is hang in there and hope you don't get motion sickness and puke all over the newspapers.
Jennifer RardinTags: fear
I described the pyramid we'd found and waited for him to jump on the bandwagon. Unfortunately he's afraid of wagons. And bands.
Jennifer RardinTags: phobias
I pictured Cupid sitting in a crappy little bar, drunk and depressed, while he moaned to the bartender, "That Jasmine Parks, gods, she pisses me off! Did you see what she just did? Totally blew off this immortal stud to play kiss-the-boo-boo with a fickle little rent-a-cop. Why? 'Cause she's the biggest chickenshit on the planet! I'm ready to toss my bow and pick up a bazooka!
Jennifer RardinTags: relationships cupid
I can't belly dance.'
Yes, you can. It's in your fi--'
Will you stop reading my goddamn file!
Tags: humor
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