All the secrets of the world are contained in books. Read at your own risk.

Lemony Snicket

Tags: reading-secrets



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If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf.

Lemony Snicket

Tags: humor writers talking



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Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.

Lemony Snicket

Tags: humor love parents change babies



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It is always sad when someone leaves home, unless they are simply going around the corner and will return in a few minutes with ice-cream sandwiches.

Lemony Snicket

Tags: ice-cream-sandwhiches leaving-home



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This is my knife. It is very sharp and very eager to hurt you.

Lemony Snicket

Tags: humor



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The moral of Snow White is never eat apples.

Lemony Snicket


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It is always cruel to laugh at people, of course, although sometimes if they are wearing an ugly hat it is hard to control yourself.

Lemony Snicket

Tags: humor-hats



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One of the world's most popular entertainments is a deck of cards, which contains thirteen each of four suits, highlighted by kings, queens and jacks, who are possibly the queen's younger, more attractive boyfriends.

Lemony Snicket

Tags: entertainment boyfriends cards queens



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A passport, as I'm sure you know, is a document that one shows to government officials whenever one reaches a border between two countries, so that the official can learn who you are, where you were born, and how you look when photographed unflatteringly.

Lemony Snicket

Tags: humor passports



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It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone we know. It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things.

Lemony Snicket

Tags: death



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