You know what the great thing about babies is? They are like little bundles of hope. Like the future in a basket.
Lish McBrideMrs. Winalski owned a candy-apple-red 1965 Mustang GT convertible, and she drove it like she could die at any minute and needed to get five things done before that happened.
Lish McBrideWind does not discriminate—it touches everyone, everything. He liked that about wind.
Lish McBrideTags: wind discrimination
Douglas’s fridge was a stainless-steel masterpiece. I’m not that into appliances or anything, but this one was nice and probably cost more than my last apartment. I had the strange desire to hug it every time I came into the kitchen.
Lish McBrideTags: humor lust appliances
I had no idea what I was paying James, but based on his picnic-assembling skills alone, he needed a raise.
Lish McBrideEssentially, the whole time I’d been here, the security staff hadn’t been paid. I would have been harassing the management too, though I probably would have started with a discussion and not so much jumping straight to peeing on someone’s bed. You have to work up to that sort of thing. Still, I had essentially staged a hostile takeover, which did kind of explain why they’d been going on the offensive.
Lish McBrideSam, you need experts on this, and I love you, but—”
“I’m so new I have that new-car smell about me?
Tags: inexperience
Slow down and explain to us plebeians. If you have to, use sock puppets.
Lish McBrideTags: humor
You are quite possibly the least smooth guy I know,” she mumbled. “You can’t even put your arm around me without tripping up.
Lish McBrideTags: humor sex sarcasm smooth
There were upsides to the whole mess. While Douglas was holding me hostage, I’d met a girl—I mean, screw dating websites and house parties; apparently all the really eligible ladies are being held in cages these days. I would have liked to see Brid fill out a dating questionnaire, though. What would she put? “Hi, my name is Bridin Blackthorn. I’m next in line to rule the local werewolf pack. I like long walks on the beach and destroying my enemies. I have four older brothers, so watch your step. We’ll be forming a queue to the left for potential suitors.”
And, trust me, there would be a queue.
Tags: humor dating dating-service
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