The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.

Mark Twain

Tags: friendship



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There's one way to find out if a man is honest: ask him; if he says yes, you know he's crooked.

Mark Twain

Tags: honesty



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The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened.

Mark Twain

Tags: humor-age-memories



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When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.

Mark Twain

Tags: love romantic-advice



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I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Mark Twain

Tags: humor funny classic-insult funeral



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There are people who strictly deprive themselves of each and every eatable, drinkable, and smokable which has in any way acquired a shady reputation. They pay this price for health. And health is all they get for it. How strange it is. It is like paying out your whole fortune for a cow that has gone dry.

Mark Twain


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We must have a religion — it goes without saying — but my idea is, to have it cut up into forty free sects, so that they will police each other, as had been the case in the United States in my time. Concentration of power in a political machine is bad; and and an Established Church is only a political machine; it was invented for that; it is nursed, cradled, preserved for that; it is an enemy to human liberty, and does no good which it could not better do in a split-up and scattered condition. That wasn’t law; it wasn’t gospel: it was only an opinion — my opinion, and I was only a man, one man: so it wasn’t worth any more than the pope’s — or any less, for that matter.

Mark Twain


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The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.

Mark Twain

Tags: self-acceptance self-esteem



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This nation is like all the others that have been spewed upon the earth--ready to shout for any cause that will tickle its vanity or fill its pocket. What a hell of a heaven it will be when they get all these hypocrites assembled there!
- Letter to J. H. Twichell, 1/29/1901

Mark Twain

Tags: humor truth



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Loyalty to a petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.

Mark Twain

Tags: mark-twain



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