I have no phobias. Phobias are irrational. My fears are rational and CAREFULLY CULTIVATED, like roses.
Maureen JohnsonTags: tweet
I followed your footsteps," he said, in answer to the unspoken question. "Snow makes it easy."
I had been tracked, like a bear.
"Sorry to make you go to all that trouble," I said.
"I didn't have to go that far, really. You're about three streets over. You just kept going in loops."
A really inept bear.
Tags: winter winnie-the-pooh tracking bear
Salt. Wound. Together at last.
Maureen JohnsonTags: insult-to-injury
Go see old virgins! Now ask a strange boy out, you shy, Retarded thing!
Maureen JohnsonTags: humor
I guess life is full of maybes.
Maureen JohnsonTags: recursive
I envisioned huge piles of the Elf Hotel flying off the belt, taking down everybody in sight. I had seen pictures of that Elf Hotel - it had sharp candy-cane spires that could easily impale someone. If anyone was ever going to be killed by an Elf Hotel, it would be my parents.
Maureen JohnsonTags: flobie
There is nothing about a bad situation that fourteen hyper cheerleaders can't worsen.
Maureen JohnsonTags: let-it-snow
I can sleep like a champion. I once slept through a smoke alarm going off. For three hours. In my bedroom.
Maureen JohnsonTags: let-it-snow
Stuart must have sensed my despair from the way I began lightly banging my forehead on the table.
Maureen JohnsonTags: let-it-snow
You could wear the same outfit every single day and no guy - who isn't gay - will notice.
Maureen JohnsonTags: humor
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