Up until two years ago, I was one of the top-selling real estate agents in the tricounty area. I went to a convention in Boca Raton. I had one too many margaritas, met a tall, pale, and handsome man in the bar, and woke up a vampire."
"I was mistaken for a deer and got shot," I offered."
"Oh.
Tags: vampire jane-jameson molly-harper missy nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs
My grandma Ruthie, Jettie's sister, had been married four times, so many times I started calling every old man I saw at the grocery store Grandpa.
Molly HarperTags: funny jane-jameson molly-harper grandpa nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs remarried
I wanted to call you, but I find myself feeling...awkward when it comes to you."
"'Awkward' is the word du jour," I agreed. "So, I make you nervous?"
"Not quite nervous," he said. "Just unsettled."
I wriggled my eyebrows and inched a little closer to him. "Unsettled, that's even better.
Tags: funny gabriel jane-jameson nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs unsettled
Dick called, but he just left dirty voice-mail messages. Let's just say if I'm ever in the market for a massage involving canola oil and marabou feathers, I'm covered.
Molly HarperTags: funny dirty dick jane-jameson molly-harper richard nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs
I was just turned last week. I'm a librarian."
He stilled, as if I'd just told him I was the inventor of the tube top. "I watched a movie about a librarian once. Well, she was a librarian by day, a call girl by--"
I stopped him with a quick lift of an eyebrow. "If you finish that sentence, we cannot be friends.
Tags: funny librarians dick jane-jameson molly-harper richard nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs
Are you going to answer my questions, or do I have to whack you with a stick until delicious candy surprises fall out?
Molly HarperTags: questions surprises funny jane-jameson molly-harper nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs zeb pinata
We finally settled on Francis Ford Coppola's version of Dracula, which, unfortunately, Gabriel seemed to think was a comedy. I think it was the combination of Keanu Reeves's British accent and Gary Oldman's elderly Count Dracula hairstyle. They're just misleading.
Molly HarperTags: funny comedy dracula movie gabriel jane-jameson molly-harper nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs
Besides, my drinking blood's not nearly as weird as that time I caught you shaving your legs."
"I was curious!
Tags: funny vampire jane-jameson molly-harper bloodsucker nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs zeb
You want to stab me again, don't you?"
He didn't look at all ashamed. "Think of it as testing the limits of your new abilities."
I groaned. "I've created a monster."
"I don't think someone who recently crawled from the grave should be throwing around labels like 'monster,'" he said, making sarcastic little air-quotes fingers.
"It wasn't a grave," I sniffed. "It was a comfy four-poster.
Tags: funny monster jane-jameson molly-harper nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs zeb four-poster
Most of the people you read about being turned meet vamps in clubs or over the Internet...Ew, did you...?"
"Yes, I met a vampire on the Internet, went to his evil love den, and let him turn me, because I'm that brainless.
Tags: funny sarcasm internet jane-jameson molly-harper nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs zeb
« first previous
Page 12 of 16.
next last »
Data privacy
Imprint
Contact
Diese Website verwendet Cookies, um Ihnen die bestmögliche Funktionalität bieten zu können.