Unfortunately, my army consists of one unreliable criminal, one girl with a
disability, and one incredibly foolish young vampire with a tanning issue. I am not confident.

Rachel Caine

Tags: morganville-vampires oliver kiss-of-death



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When I want to be lectured on strategy, I'll consult someone who's actually won battles,' Amelie said. 'Not one who ran away from them.'
'Snap,' Eve said.
'You know what they're talking about?' Shane asked.
'Don't need to know to get that one. She smacked him so hard his momma felt it.

Rachel Caine

Tags: morganville-vampires shane-collins eve-rosser snap amelie



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Seriously,” Shane said, “this kind of is the worst situation we’ve ever been in, right?”
“Speak for yourself,” Michael said. “I got myself killed last year. Twice.”
“Oh yeah. You’re right—last year really sucked for you.

Rachel Caine


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Don't run I never liked fast food

Rachel Caine

Tags: humor crazy vampires



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Parents had some kind of sin radar, Claire thought. They always called when you were in the middle of something you just knew they'd consider wrong. Or at least risky.

Rachel Caine

Tags: parents shane-collins claire-danvers eve-rosser michael-glass reba



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He rose to his feet and padded down the last few steps silently, came up behind Kim, and leaned over her to say, “I vant to drink your blood” in a heavy, fake Dracula accent. She shrieked, flailed, and a zombie ate her brains on-screen."!

Rachel Caine

Tags: humor



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You know what we call pedestrians in Morganville? Mobile bloodbanks.

Rachel Caine

Tags: vampires blood morganville-vampires shane-collins claire-danvers eve-rosser michael-glass pedestrian mobile



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Restrooms at gas stations were an unpleasant and shocking surprise; I had never considered the serious drawbacks of such lazily-cleaned rooms. I was completely unable to ignore the filth, and wasted a burst of power to turn the sink, floors and porcelain toilet into sparkling, clean examples of their kind before using the facility. I felt that was a much less judgmental response than simply blowing the place off the face of the Earth, which was also a distinct temptation, especially when the storekeeper overcharged me for a bottle of cold water.

Rachel Caine

Tags: humor



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Where's your sense of adventure?"
"Off on a beach somewhere with your sanity?

Rachel Caine

Tags: morganville-vampires



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Morely: You're trying to make me [i]Amelie[/i]
Oliver: Goodness, no. You'd look terrible in a skirt

Rachel Caine

Tags: morganville-vampires rachel-caine kiss-of-death



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