I spent the best years of my life atoning for something I didn't do, something my parents didn't do, something done just about before I was ever even born. I got no complaints with that, but I'm about all atoned out, and I ain't yet gotten round to atoning for the things I did do.

Shalom Auslander


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You never see a lion crucifyng another lion. You never see a bear just randomly murdering salmon for anything besides food; bears don't form armies, invade rivers, tear the heads off male salmon, rape the female salmon, and enslave their salmon children.
It is finished, to Kugel, sounded a hell of a lot like Fuck all of you motherfuckers.

Shalom Auslander


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Just move the train, for fuck's sake, she's not getting any deader.

Shalom Auslander


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Remember your grandfather's last words, Jonah would tell his children: Life is nothing more than a little why.

Shalom Auslander


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Hiding from genocide inside a Jew's attic, thought Kugel, is like hiding from a lion inside a gazelle.

Shalom Auslander


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The Kugels, Kugel hated to admit, might just have to, in the event of genocide, rely on the kindness of strangers.
Mother used to say: I can name six million people who relied on the kindness of strangers.

Shalom Auslander


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He took the diary from Mother's hand and turned it over. The heartbreaking something, he read, of a tragic whatever.

Shalom Auslander


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Maybe when I'd dead, he thought. Maybe when I'm dead I'll get some goddamned sleep.

Shalom Auslander


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I kind of like it up here, Kugel said. It's got a certain fatalistic charm, a certain je ne sais fucked.

Shalom Auslander


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His intelligence only exacerbated the guilt Kugel felt for bringing him into the world. It was one thing to have condemned a child to life, that was criminal enough, but life was a sentence more easily served by fools.

Shalom Auslander


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