Equations are the devil's sentences.
Stephen ColbertI’m the frosting on America’s cake, and tonight I’m willing to let you lick the bowl.
Stephen ColbertBaby carrots are making me gay.
Stephen ColbertTags: ridiculous
I am no fan of books.
Stephen ColbertIf Germans are happy it means everyone else is miserable.
Stephen ColbertThe only thing that gets me high is the musky scent of my enemy's fear
Stephen ColbertLike O'Rielly, we'll grab the most important word of each sentence... 'The' for example. Also, I'll say, 'I'm angry,' and the graphic will read, 'Colbert angry.
Stephen ColbertI am no fan of books. And chances are, if you're reading this, you and I share a healthy skepticism about the printed word. Well, I want you to know that this is the first book I've ever written, and I hope it's the first book you've ever read. Don't make a habit of it.
Stephen ColbertTags: humor
Atheism, a religion dedicated to its own sense of smug superiority.
Stephen ColbertTags: life
Tomorrow you're all going to wake up in a brave new world, a world where the Constitution gets trampled by an army of terrorist clones, created in a stem-cell research lab run by homosexual doctors who sterilize their instruments over burning American flags. Where tax-and-spend Democrats take all your hard-earned money and use it to buy electric cars for National Public Radio, and teach evolution to illegal immigrants. Oh, and everybody's high!
Stephen ColbertPage 1 of 15.
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