Here's an easy way to figure out if you're in a cult: If you're wondering whether you're in a cult, the answer is yes.
Stephen ColbertTags: humor religion satire cult
If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn't have declared their independence from it.
Stephen ColbertTags: humor politics political-philosophy isolationism
(on fox news).... it's like watching a Disney movie about the news.
Stephen ColbertLook, PETA! If God hadn't wanted us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them so darn tasty!
Stephen ColbertTags: animals vegetarian
The summer movies are coming out. My advice: just stay home and burn a good book.
Stephen ColbertTags: humor book-lover
I teach Sunday school, motherf*****.
Stephen ColbertI guess 14% plus Jesus equals victory
Stephen ColbertIt is a well known fact that reality has liberal bias.
Stephen ColbertTags: liberalism bias
Agnostics are just atheists without balls.
Stephen ColbertTags: atheism
They say the only people who tell the truth are drunkards and children. Guess which one I am.
Stephen ColbertTags: drinking
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