If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?

Steven Wright


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If you can’t hear me, it’s because I’m in parentheses.

Steven Wright


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I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.

Steven Wright

Tags: humor-monopoly



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How young can you die of old age?

Steven Wright

Tags: humor-age-death



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I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don’t know how I got there.

Steven Wright


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If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

Steven Wright

Tags: humor riddle



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I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking,' but I didn’t have that much time.

Steven Wright

Tags: humor bank



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Do the people in Australia call the rest of the world 'Up Over'?

Steven Wright

Tags: humor-australia



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I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the gift wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.

Steven Wright


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If a mute kid swears, should his mother wash his hands with soap?

Steven Wright

Tags: humor



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