Bursar?"
"Yes, Archchancellor?"
"You ain't a member of some secret society or somethin', are you?"
"Me? No, Archchancellor."
"Then it'd be a damn good idea to take your underpants off your head.

Terry Pratchett

Tags: humor secret-society underpants



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… people didn't seem to be able to remember what it was like with the elves around. Life was certainly more interesting then, but usually because it was shorter. And it was more colorful, if you liked the color of blood.

Terry Pratchett

Tags: elves



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What is magic?
There is the wizard's explanation... wizards talk about candles, circles, planets, stars, bananas, chants, runes and the importance of having at least four good meals every day.

Terry Pratchett

Tags: magic wizards



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If complete and utter chaos was lightning, then he'd be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armour and shouting 'All gods are bastards!

Terry Pratchett

Tags: stupidity religion humour gods



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He'd been wrong, there was a light at the end of the tunnel, and it was a flamethrower.

Terry Pratchett

Tags: humor death



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It's going to look pretty good, then, isn't it," said War testily, "the One Horseman and Three Pedestrians of the Apocalypse.

Terry Pratchett

Tags: sourcery



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Insanity is catching.

Terry Pratchett

Tags: insanity



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I was merely endeavoring to indicate that if we do not grab events by the collar they will have us by the throat.
-Lord Vetinari

Terry Pratchett

Tags: to-live-by



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One of the highlights of the first Good Omens tour was Neil and I walking through New York singing Shoehorn with Teeth. Well, we'd had a good breakfast. And you don't get mugged, either.

Terry Pratchett

Tags: new-york-city neil-gaiman shoehorn-with-teeth they-might-be-giants



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It was lonely on the hill, and cold. And all you could do was keep going. You could scream, cry, and stamp your feet, but apart from making you feel warmer, it wouldn’t do any good. You could say it was unfair, and that was true, but the universe didn’t care because it didn’t know what “fair” meant. That was the big problem about being a witch. It was up to you. It was always up to you.

Terry Pratchett


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