I love nature, I just don't want to get any of it on me.
Woody AllenMrs. Sol Schwimmer is suing me because I made her bridge as I felt it and not to fit her ridiculous mouth! That's right! I can't work to order like a common tradesman! I decided her bridge should be enormous and billowing, with wild, explosive teeth flaring up in every direction like fire! Now she is upset because it won't fit in her mouth! She is so bourgeois and stupid. I want to smash her! I tried forcing the false plate in but it sticks out like a star burst chandelier. Still, I find it beautiful.
Woody AllenBasically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in my bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.
Woody AllenTags: humor
Millions of books written on every conceivable subject by all these great minds and in the end, none of them knows anything more about the big questions of life than I do … I read Socrates. This guy knocked off little Greek boys. What the Hell’s he got to teach me? And Nietzsche, with his theory of eternal recurrence. He said that the life we lived we’re gonna live over again the exact same way for eternity. Great. That means I’ll have to sit through the Ice Capades again. It’s not worth it. And Freud, another great pessimist. I was in analysis for years and nothing happened. My poor analyst got so frustrated, the guy finally put in a salad bar. Maybe the poets are right. Maybe love is the only answer.
Woody Allenمردی پیش روان پزشک می رود و به او می گوید که برادرم فکر می کند یک مرغ است. پزشک به او پاسخ می دهد که به سادگی به برادرت بگو که مرغ نیست و تمام. ولی مرد در جوابش می گوید: ما به تخم مرغ هایش نیاز داریم!
Woody AllenI'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Woody AllenYou know what my philosophy of life is? That it’s important to have some laughs, but you got to suffer a little too, because otherwise you miss the whole point to life.
Woody AllenSun is bad for you. Everything our parents said was good is bad. Sun, milk, red meat...college,
Woody AllenYou'll find as you go through life that great depth and smoldering sensuality don't always win.
Woody AllenIt was one of those great spring days, it was Sunday, and you knew summer would be coming soon. And I remember that morning Dorrie and I had gone for a walk in the park and come back to the apartment. We were just sort of sitting around and I put on a record of Louie Armstrong, which was music I grew up with, and it was very, very pretty, and I happened to glance over and I saw Dorrie sitting there. And I remember thinking to myself how terrific she was and how much I loved her. And I don't know, I guess it was a combination of everything, the sound of the music, and the breeze, and how beautiful Dorrie looked to me and for one brief moment everything just seemed to come together perfectly and I felt happy, almost indestructible in a way.
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