Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

Woody Allen

Tags: love sex funny



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On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.

Woody Allen


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It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.

Woody Allen


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I can't fight.
I was once run over by a car with a flat tire, being pushed by two guys.

Woody Allen

Tags: absurd



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I'm not a drinker, my body won't tolerate...eh...spirits, really. I had two martinis New Years Eve and I tried to hi-jack an elevator and fly it to Cuba.

Woody Allen

Tags: absurd



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If Jesus came back and saw what was going on in his name, he'd never stop throwing-up.

Woody Allen

Tags: religion



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I hate reality but it's still the best place to get a good steak.

Woody Allen

Tags: humor



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It's about Russia.

Woody Allen


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