Die besten Zitate der Welt!

I can't fight.
I was once run over by a car with a flat tire, being pushed by two guys.

Woody Allen

Stichwörter: absurd

I'm not a drinker, my body won't tolerate...eh...spirits, really. I had two martinis New Years Eve and I tried to hi-jack an elevator and fly it to Cuba.

Woody Allen

Stichwörter: absurd

If Jesus came back and saw what was going on in his name, he'd never stop throwing-up.

Woody Allen

Stichwörter: religion

I hate reality but it's still the best place to get a good steak.

Woody Allen

Stichwörter: humor

It's about Russia.

Woody Allen

These modern analysts! They charge so much. In my day, for five marks Freud himself would treat you. For ten marks, he would treat you and press your pants. For fifteen marks, Freud would let you treat him, and that included a choice of any two vegetables. Thirty dollars an hour! Fifty dollars an hour! The Kaiser only got twelve and a quarter for being Kaiser! And he had to walk to work! And the length of treatment! Two years! Five years! If one of us couldn’t cure a patient in six months we would refund his money, take him to any musical revue and he would receive either a mahogany fruit bowl or a set of stainless steel carving knives. I remember you could always tell the patients Jung failed with, as he would give them large stuffed pandas.

Woody Allen

Stichwörter: humor