Zoroastrianism? Oh, there’s never been but a few hundred thousand of them at any one time, mostly located in Iran and India, but that’s it. The one true faith. If you’re not a Zoroastrian, I’m afraid you are bound for Hell.”
The man looked stunned and shocked. "It's not fair."
The demon gave a mirthful laugh. “Well, it was fair when you were sending all the Chinese to Hell who had never heard of Jesus. Wasn’t it?
Tags: truth christianity religion hell jesus mormonism lds christians black-humor
Remember you are never really alone. Although it may feel like it for very long stretches of time.
Steven L. PeckTags: solitude hell existentialism black-humor
Akthent on thee latht thyllable.
Bret Easton EllisTags: satire black-humor
... a man doesn't like to have his ego popped, especially when he prides himself on his sagacity, and then to be proved wrong by a man who claims he doesn't know anything.
E.A. BucchianeriTags: men funny sarcasm pride ego dark-humor irony egotism socrates black-humor gadfly irony-of-life humorous-quotes egotist pride-trap
When people got old, why did they always develop a passion for scrabbling in the earth? Were they trying to get used to it?
Sergei LukyanenkoTags: humor death burial elderly black-humor
I didn't have a motive. I didn't to it. You did. What are you writing?"
"Motive - Don't know."
"What do you mean Don't know? I tell you I hadn't got one. Put None."
"You must have one. If you kill people without one, you're mad.
Tags: motives black-humor
You see, insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.
Joseph KesselringTags: insanity black-humor
Americans like what is easy, and it's easy to like pregnant women - they're like ducklings or bunnies or dogs. Still, it baffles me that these self-righteous, self-enthralled waddlers get such special treatment. As if it's so hard to spread your legs and let a man ejaculate between them.
Gillian FlynnTags: black-humor
Very few conversations with Charles Dickens did not include a laugh from him. I had never met a man so given to laughter. Almost no moment or context was too serious for this author not to find some levity in it, as some of us had discovered to our embarrassment at funerals.
Dan SimmonsTags: humor black-humor
What happened?" Wyatt asked Crystal, and stood back so the two of them could come inside out of the oppressive heat.
"Why are you asking her?" Reed thumped past him. "I'm the one on crutches."
"She'll tell me the truth," Wyatt said. "You'll just give me some bullshit story that will end with 'You should see the other guy'."
"You wound me, bro" [Reed]
"He tore his ACL the day before yesterday trying to do a stunt on a skateboard." [Crystal]
"Mendoza dared him." [Luke Colter]
"No one held a gun to the fool's head" [Mendoza]
Tags: funny brotherhood reunion black-humor black-ops men-being-boys
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