He announces that lately he keeps losing things. "Like your wife and child," I want to say, but don´t. At fourty, I´ve learned not to say everything clever, not to score every point.
Suzanne FinnamoreTags: deception marriage relationships infidelity divorce breaking-up cheating
I remember one desolate Sunday night, wondering: Is this how I´m going to spend the rest of my life? Marrid to someone who is perpetually distracted and somewhat wistful, as though a marvelous party is going on in the next room, which but for me he could be attending?
Suzanne FinnamoreTags: deception marriage relationships infidelity divorce breaking-up cheating
So many events and moments that seemed insignificant add up. I remember how for the last Valentine´s Day, N gave flowers but no card. In restaurants, he looked off into the middle distance while my hand would creep across the table to hold his. He would always let go first. I realize I can´t remember his last spontaneous gesture of affection.
Suzanne FinnamoreTags: deception marriage relationships infidelity divorce breaking-up cheating
Take me now, God!" I shout to the inky sky. "I´m ready."
"You´re not ready. You´re not even divorced yet," Bunny says. "You cannot die married to that man.
Tags: deception marriage relationships infidelity divorce breaking-up cheating
You get what you give," we will tell his sorry, selfish ass." The Betty Lady has spoken. I detect a Bronx accent.
"But," I demur, "it will make the other woman say, ´See? She IS a jealous and paranoid and pushy wife.´"
The Betty Lady rips open a cell phone statement with a nail file and, without looking up at me, says, "Let me tell you something, honey. In my experience? The only thing they care about is what they see in the mirror each morning and WINNING...or their perception of winning.
Tags: deception marriage relationships infidelity divorce breaking-up cheating
I am replete with stamina in finding out every single fact I can about this whole affair.
Yet, I think, do I want to pull that thread? Do I want to unleash the truth, unravel deceit, and kill reality as I´ve known it? It is irreparable, if I do, from the moment we met until now. It is long. If I discover too much that is false about what I thought my past was, Time will be skewed even further. I already have a poor connection with the present. Example: I have no sense of what day it is. It´s better.
Tags: deception marriage relationships infidelity divorce breaking-up cheating
How do you know? How best to ensure his nervous breakdown?" I ask.
"Keep going," Christian says. "Just go on as if nothing has happened. We all hate that.
Tags: deception marriage relationships infidelity divorce breaking-up cheating
The Betty Lady explains love and splitting up: "It´s like playing the shell game with Jesus. You can´t figure anything out; it´s best not to try. You´ll just humiliate yourself.
Suzanne FinnamoreTags: love deception marriage relationships infidelity divorce breaking-up cheating
For me, it´s sloth," I say. "Hedonistic sloth and escapism.
Suzanne FinnamoreTags: deception marriage relationships infidelity divorce breaking-up cheating
This does not escape my notice, it is a context. I resent the fact of a context; my social status has shifted and no one is going to acknowldege it, that´s certain. I´m expected to be Brave and Rise Above. I dress for the role; I must look far better now that I did when I was married. I must look pulled together into a nice tight Hermès knot of self-containment. I don´t make the rules; I just do my best to follow them.
Suzanne FinnamoreTags: deception marriage relationships infidelity divorce breaking-up cheating
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