I have depth. I've read Proust. No, wait, that was Pooh. Winnie the Pooh. My bad"
Charley Davidson.
Tags: charley-davidson
Honestly, he acted as though he didn't like me anymore. Wait, maybe he didn't. "Do you still like me?"
"I never liked you."
Oh, right. He had a point.
Garreth
Tags: charley-davidson garreth-swopes
I could hardly be responsible for my actions when everyone around me gave me every opportunity to sink to their low expectations.
Darynda JonesTags: charley-davidson
It would be a miracle to solve this case. Luckily, I believed in miracles. No, wait, that was testicles. I believed in testicles.
Darynda JonesTags: charley-davidson
There was nothing like a trip to the gynecologist to make one feel just a little violated.
Charley
Tags: charley-davidson
My plans often went awry. Much like my thoughts. Hold the phones. Maybe Saan had ADD, too. It would explain a lot.
Darynda JonesTags: charley-davidson
She blinked at me, then realized I was panicking. Honestly, it was like admitting to murder before being interrogated.
“Ms. Davidson,” she began, but I decided to trip her up, to throw her off the trail of blood I’d left like an injured animal.
“I don’t speak English.
Tags: funny-as-hell charley-davidson
And you went out,” he said, his tone pleased.
I said through the bubbles of toothpaste, “Had to. I got a case.”
“Want to tell me about it?”
After rinsing, I headed back that way, still looking over the file. “That’s a negatory. But I’d like to keep that option open. You know, if I get in trouble.”
“So, you’ll be telling me all about it by tomorrow afternoon. Have you talked to your dad?
Tags: charley-davidson uncle-bob
Does Uncle Bob have anything?"
"I heard he has an STD."
"I mean on the women."
"Oh, I have no idea if they have any STDs.
Tags: humour charley-davidson
I started to put my phone back in my bag when Ozzy yelled out, his accent so thick, I was only half certain he said, "Where the foock are ya goin'?"
Uncle Bob jumped. I must've turned on my GPS.
"You have to tahn the foock around. You're in the middle of foockin' nowhere."
"What the hell is that?" Uncle Bob asked, almost swerving off the road.
"Sorry, it's Ozzy." I grabbed my phone and turned down the volume. "He's so demanding." I pushed a few buttons to turn off the app, then put the phone to my ear. "Sweet, buttermilk pancakes, Ozzy, you have to stop calling me. You're a married man!" I pretended to hang up, then rolled my eyes. "Rock stars.
Tags: humour charley-davidson gps uncle-bob
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