Okay, I'll strip. I'll tap dance. I'll sing 'La Cucaracha' in C minor.
Darynda JonesTags: charley-davidson reyes-farrow
Gemma Davidson,” she answered, her voice as groggy as I felt.
“Where are you?” I asked.
“Who is this?”
“Elvis.”
“What time is it?”
“Hammer time?”
“Charley.”
“Did you text me? Did your car break down?”
“No and no. Why are you doing this to me?” She was funny.
“Check your cell.”
I heard a loud, sleepy sigh, some rustling of sheets, then, “It won’t come on.”
“Not at all?”
“No. What did you do to it?”
“I ate it for breakfast. Check the battery compartment.”
“Where the hell is that?”
“Um, behind the battery door.”
“Are you punking me?” I heard her fumbling with the phone.
“Gem, if I was going to punk you, I wouldn't simply turn off your phone. I would pour honey in your hair while you slept. Or, you know, something like that.”
“That was you?” she asked, appalled.
Tags: humour charley-davidson darynda-jones gemma-davidson third-grave-dead-ahead
I knew dating the son of Satan would turn out badly
Darynda JonesTags: humor charley-davidson
I should’ve known the day was going to turn out bad when it started with my father trying to kill me
Darynda JonesTags: charley-davidson
This was insane. What was wrong with the world? Didn’t they know that ghosts and supernatural powers where little girls helped their dads and uncles solve case didn’t exist?
It was books. It was television shows and movies. They had desensitized the world.
"Damn writers.
Tags: humor grim-reaper charley-davidson
Gemma,” I said, adding a singsong whine to my voice, “now I can’t scare her. You can’t go around telling people about me.
Darynda JonesTags: humor female-hero urban-fantasy-series charley-davidson
suddenly I’m that chick from Fatal Attraction. Next thing you know, I’ll be boiling rabbits.
Darynda JonesTags: humor charley-davidson charley-davidson-humor
I was freaking her out, but someone had to do it, damn it
Darynda JonesTags: humor charley-davidson charley-davidson-humor
I could’ve knocked the shit out of her .She’d have good reason to roll her eyes then. But knocking the shit out of rude people wasn’t my style. Heckling them every chance I got was.
Hopefully she’d screw up soon. I didn’t have all day.
Tags: funny-quotes charley-davidson grimm-reaper
Oh, yeah, this girl was going down. She had no idea who she was messing with. And, sadly, she didn’t seem to care.
I hoped her drawer came up short at the end of her shift. Karma’s a bitch.
Tags: funny charley-davidson humor-books
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