His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.

Mae West

Tags: classic-insult

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He was distinguished for ignorance; for he had only one idea, and that was wrong.

Benjamin Disraeli

Tags: classic-insult

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I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend ... if you have one."
— George Bernard Shaw, playwright (to Winston Churchill)
"Cannot possibly attend first night; will attend second, if there is one."
— Churchill's response

Winston S. Churchill

Tags: classic-insult retort

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He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.

Paul John Keating

Tags: classic-insult

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Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?

Mark Twain

Tags: simile classic-insult

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An old battleax of a woman said to Winston Churchill, "If you were my husband I would put poison in your tea." Churchill's response, "Ma'am if you were my wife I would drink it.

Winston S. Churchill

Tags: humor humour classic-insult retort

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