The most comic things of all are exactly the things most worth doing--such as making love.
G.K. Chesterton(On his gravestone): "I told you I was ill".
Spike MilliganLife is a drama full of tragedy and comedy. You should learn to enjoy the comic episodes a little more.
Jeannette WallsSome guys step on a rake in the dark, and get mad and go punch somebody. Others step on a rake in the dark and fall down laughing at themselves. I know which kind of guy I'd rather be. So do my friends.
Spider RobinsonTags: friendship humour comedy sf callahan
I had never before been a special fan of that great comedian Phyllis Diller, but she utterly won my heart this week by sending me an envelope that, when opened, contained a torn-off square of brown-bag paper of the kind suitable for latrine duty in an ill-run correctional facility. Duly unfurled, it carried a handwritten salutation reading as follows:
Money's scarce
Times are hard
Here's your f******
Xmas card
I could not possibly improve on the sentiment, but I don't think it ought to depend on the current austerities. Isn't Christmas a moral and aesthetic nightmare whether or not the days are prosperous? Christopher Hitchens
Tags: humour christmas comedy phyllis-diller
I ejaculated about ten minutes ago and the stuff was black. So everything is not normal."
Silence greeted that happy little announcement. Man, if he had hauled off and sucker-punched V, he would have gotten less of a shocked-out reaction.
Tags: humor sex comedy friendships
Sort of' is such a harmless thing to say... sort of. It's just a filler. Sort of... it doesn't really mean anything. But after certain things, sort of means everything. Like... after "I love you"... or "You're going to live"... or "It's a boy!
Demetri MartinTags: humor funny comedy equivocation comedian
I was making pancakes the other day and a fly flew into the kitchen. And that's when I realized that a spatula is a lot like a fly swatter. And a crushed fly is a lot like a blueberry. And a roommate is a lot like a fly eater.
Demetri MartinTags: humor funny comedy ironic comedian roommates fly demetri-martin
She had a voice so husky it could have pulled a dogsled, and the gun she was holding gave me a bad case of barrel envy.
Patrick Major Dallas ORTags: humor dogs weird comedy metaphor voice gun husky
There is remedy for all things except death - Don Quixote De La Mancha
Miguel de Cervantes SaavedraTags: world classics comedy don-quixote knighthood
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