Applaud my friends, the comedy is over...
[on his death bed]

Ludwig van Beethoven

Tags: comedy

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Tags: humor wit comedy mockery obliviousness comedie good-natured

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Okay, now I know your yanking my chain. Pigs will fly before Blake would ask for our help." Rhoan

"Better start ducking those flying piggies then, bro, because I'm totally serious." Riley

Keri Arthur

Tags: comedy

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Here is my final point. About drugs, about alcohol, about pornography and smoking and everything else. What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I fuck, what I take into my body - as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet?

Bill Hicks

Tags: humor philosophy comedy bill-hicks

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There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.

George Carlin

Tags: humor philosophy comedy george-carlin

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Let me tell you about gays in the military. I don't want any gay people hanging around me while I'm killing kids. I just don't want to see it.

Bill Hicks

Tags: comedy stand-up

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Ash nodded. “Look for Oberon or Mab,” he said grimly, scanning the battlefield. “They’ll likely be on opposite sides of the river. Try not to engage anything, Goodfellow. We don’t want a fight — we just want to get the scepter to the queen.”
“Don’t kid yourself, Prince.” Puck grinned and drew his daggers, pointing to Ash with the tip. “You’re a traitor, Meghan’s the Summer princess, and I’m Robin Goodfellow. I’m sure the ranks of Unseelie will just let us waltz right through.

Julie Kagawa

Tags: comedy puck

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Gabrielle chuckled, her dark eyes twinkling. “So he’s been after you, has he? Poor Etta, pursued by a sun priest offering to pleasure—”

“Every nook and cranny,” Marietta interrupted dryly and Gabrielle tipped her head back with a throaty laugh.

Michelle O'Leary

Tags: humor scifi romance fantasy science-fiction comedy short-stories sexual-humor

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I want to experience as many different tastes, sights, emotions, conflicts, and cultures as possible, so that I can expand the canvas of my memory and enrich my comedy.

Patton Oswalt

Tags: experience comedy

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So you want me to go to a human orgy, where I will not be welcome, and you want us to leave before I get to enjoy myself? ~Eric Northman

Charlaine Harris

Tags: romance fantasy comedy mystery paranormal vampire

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