hi my name is luke, it rhymes with puke!
Mary AmatoTags: comedy
under the gold standard, a free banking system stands as the protector of an economy's stability and balanced growth... The abandonment of the gold standard made it possible for the welfare statists to use the banking system as a means to an unlimited expansion of credit... In the absence of the gold standard, there is no way to protect savings from confiscation through inflation
Alan GreenspanTags: comedy
I don't advise a haircut, man. All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. Hairs are your aerials. They pick up signals from the cosmos, and transmit them directly into the brain. This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
Bruce RobinsonIt’s absolutely stupid that we live without an ozone layer. We have men, we’ve got rockets, we’ve got saran wrap – FIX IT!!!
Lewis BlackTags: comedy
I have so much hate that it has turned into love.
Margaret ChoTags: humor love hate comedy margaret cho
Plaudite, amici, comedia finita est.
(Applaud, my friends, the comedy is over.)
[Said on his deathbed]
Tags: last-words comedy deathbed
I'm standing in a slaughterhouse where the cattle are begging to become hamburgers. I have a right to be jumpy.
Amelia Atwater-RhodesTags: comedy shattered-mirror amelia-atwater-rhodes hamburgers
I fart in your general direction.
Graham ChapmanTags: comedy
You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named "Bush", "Dick", and "Colin." Need I say more?
Chris RockTags: humor funny comedy everyday-life observational-comedy
You got one guy going boom, one guy going whack, and one guy not getting in the endzone.
John MaddenTags: funny comedy football running teams goalline john-madden sound-effects
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