Statistics say that a range of mental disorders affects more than one in four Americans in any given year. That means millions of Americans are totally batshit.
but having perused the various tests available that they use to determine whether you're manic depressive. OCD, schizo-affective, schizophrenic, or whatever, I'm surprised the number is that low. So I have gone through a bunch of the available tests, and I've taken questions from each of them, and assembled my own psychological evaluation screening which I thought I'd share with you.
So, here are some of the things that they ask to determine if you're mentally disordered
1. In the last week, have you been feeling irritable?
2. In the last week, have you gained a little weight?
3. In the last week, have you felt like not talking to people?
4. Do you no longer get as much pleasure doing certain things as you used to?
5. In the last week, have you felt fatigued?
6. Do you think about sex a lot?
If you don't say yes to any of these questions either you're lying, or you don't speak English, or you're illiterate, in which case, I have the distinct impression that I may have lost you a few chapters ago.

Carrie Fisher

Tags: crazy statistics mad illness americans psychiatry mental-illness test mental madman schizophrenic manic-depressive-ocd mental-heath schizo-affective statistics-humor



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we're all freaks sometimes, Melody," he replied. "You're just... well, better at it than most.

Brandon Sanderson

Tags: crazy freaks sanderson



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When I took the pills, I wanted to kill someone I hated. I didn't know that other Veronikas existed inside me, Veronikas that I could love.

Paulo Coelho

Tags: love existence hate die crazy kill insane other hospital pill decide suicidal menthal



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I wondered if having conversations with your dog was less crazy than babbling to yourself when no one else was around. I guess it depended on whether or not the dog answered.

Deb Baker

Tags: crazy yourself conversation dog



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Couldn't I just be a bit loony instead of gifted?

C.C. Hunter

Tags: crazy gifted



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My cat brought me a toy. I thanked her and threw it. She sat there gave me a look that made me realize people and dogs are the crazy ones.

Dan Harmon

Tags: cats people dogs crazy pets community feline dog cat felines pet canine canines



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It sounds crazy, to think that I cared so much without ever talking to you.

Tahereh Mafi

Tags: love crazy cared adam-kent



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My father had a healthy disregard for social conventions: he once let me paint the house windows in rainbows with my watercolor set, to my mother's horror, and he'd clap for trees that he thought were doing a good job of exploding into red during the fall.

Jennifer duBois

Tags: horror trees crazy



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The baby boom eventually prompted Hubbard to order that no one could get pregnant without his permission; according to several Sea Org members, any woman disobeying his command would be "off-loaded" to another Scientology organization or flown to New York for an abortion.

Lawrence Wright

Tags: crazy scientology



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I also found it particularly encouraging that the decent people in his life were now outnumbering the crazy bitches

R.K. Lilley

Tags: humor crazy james bianca



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