The best Quotes on Earth!

Girls are always complaining that they can never meet a nice guy. Nice guys are everywhere. The problem isn’t that there aren't any nice guys, the problem is that all of the nice guys are ugly.

Carroll Bryant

Tags: humor humorous hilarious comical funny-but-true funny-humor funny-as-hell funny-but-sad

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He who laughs last ... just didn't get the joke.

Carroll Bryant

Tags: humor funny humorous funny-but-true humorous-quotes

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Then they have the audacity to go shopping and pick out their own gifts. I want to know who the first person was who said this was okay. After spending all that money on a bachelorette weekend, a shower, and often a flight across the country, they expect you to go to Williams Sonoma or Pottery Barn and do research? Then they send you a thank-you note applauding you for such a thoughtful gift. They're the one who picked it out!

Chelsea Handler

Tags: funny-but-true

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Every Hero Becomes a Bore at last." Ralph Waldo Emerson

Tim O. Casey

Tags: humor firefighting funny-but-true firefighter

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His deepest need was that people should like him. An admirable trait that; in a spaniel. Or a whore.

Michael Dobbs

Tags: political funny-but-true

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Ish #19 "If your diet soda has zero calories, zero sugar and zero fat, what the hell are you drinking?