Mr. False! No, don't start grabbing the chickens! Better off farmer with no chickens than a load of chickens with no farmer! Anyway, they'll probably float, or fly, or something!
Terry PratchettTags: humor improbable chickens funny-humor
Once I faced a female with diamond skin," Nix said breathlessly. "I was transfixed - even as she was choking the life out of me."
"Really?"
" No, I saw that character on X men. I just wanted to commiserate. Alas, I have no weaknesses."
"Except your insanity," Lucia pointed out.
sigh. "Well played, Archer. then carry on...
Tags: funny-humor nix-the-ever-knowing
You are unnerving the hell out of me, Valkyrie."
"oh" she frowned, petting her bat fitfully " I must have misread the future for the past." she shrugged. "It happens.
Tags: funny-humor nix-the-ever-knowing
I imbue this place with my essence, every stone and every drop. My visit will do wonders for the flowers."
Aly propped her chin on her hand. "So does manure," she observed.
Tags: aly funny-humor kyprioth
I look like walking proof evolution has hit a brick wall.
Norah WilsonTags: funny-humor
Oh, hey, kettle, I’m pot and wow, you’re black.” - Owen
Olivia CunningTags: funny black force hilarious hilarity jacob owen funny-humor smartass shade pot book-quotes funny-quotes tags kettle kellen olivia-cunning sole-regret tie-me
Gabriel cocked his head to the side. “Is that what happened in her last life too? You just accidentally
touched Scarlet enough to set the lifeforce transition into motion? God! How much touching did you
do?”
Tristan narrowed his eyes. “What do you want, like a scale of one to ten?
Tags: funny-humor
Hold on tight, Sam." He puts me in a choke hold. "Ahhh," I gasp. "Not that tight.
Rick YanceyTags: funny-humor
If you were smart," Genghis said, "you would have borrowed the silverware of one of your friends."
"We never thought of that," Klaus said. When one is forced to tell atrocious lies, one often feels a guilty flutter in one's stomach, and Klaus felt such a flutter now. "You certainly are an intelligent man."
"Not only am I intelligent," Genghis agreed, "but I'm also very smart.
Tags: lies witty intelligent smart clever funny-humor lemony-snicket a-series-of-unfortunate-events count-olaf
How's your head?" the larger man asked.
"Do me a favor and cut it off," Black muttered. "It's more pain than it's worth right
now.
Tags: funny-humor
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