On my way to the parking lot, in quick succession, I saw students wearing t-shirts which read, “Save the whales. Collect the whole set,” “Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now,” and “Half the people you know are below average.” Typical for the Eastern student body.
Neil S. PlakcyTags: humor funny-humor
Sitting alone in the cafeteria would just scream “I’m the new girl. Everyone stare at me while I eat.
Kristi CookTags: so-true funny-humor creepy-i-a-way
Breathe! Breathe! I urged Lily. You can do this naturally.
Fuck that. I want my epidural as soon as we get there.
Tags: funny-humor
You put cow dung on my face?’ ‘Every day religiously until you were three. Why else do you think your skin is so clear?
Renita D'SilvaTags: humor humour funny india funny-humor indian-author indian-authors indian-quote indian-fiction
Care to explain?” Ari asked.
“Didn’t you see my signals?”
“Yeah. But they didn’t make sense. Five into one and it’s an intrusion.”
“It’s an illusion! Five of them are an illusion.”
“That’s not the signal for illusion. This is.” Ari demonstrated the proper signal.
“That’s what I did.”
“No, you didn’t. You did a weird twisty thing with your pinky.”
“I had a scimitar at my throat. I’d like to see you try signaling under those conditions.”
-Janco and Ari bickering
Tags: funny argument funny-humor bickering funny-and-random funny-quotes
Mom lies down next to me and we both stare at the ceiling in complete silence. “Boys are like candy,” she suddenly says. I grin. “Really, Mom? That’s your advice? Boys are like candy. What is that? Forrest Gump on teens?
Rucy BanTags: inspirational advice mother daughter funny-humor teenage-love
You know when you mix butt and Angel in the same sentence, it becomes an insult,” I say and take a big gulp from the can. With his back to me, he says, “Trust me, I would never dream of insulting your butt. I’m sure it’s better than anything I’m cooking out here.
Rucy BanTags: romantic lovers funny-humor
Never make eye contact with a stranger when you’re having a churro.
Rucy BanTags: witty funny-humor quirky funny-and-random
Soul, love, joy and natural beauty shines first from within. Make time for quiet reflective moments. Be still and know there is more than just Botox and pink martinis for women over 40.
Machel ShullTags: beauty joy soulful funny-humor over-40
you’ve been all black and white, like Kansas. It’s time to get back to Oz. Enjoy the colors.
Kaje HarperTags: books funny-humor gay-romance
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