On my way to the parking lot, in quick succession, I saw students wearing t-shirts which read, “Save the whales. Collect the whole set,” “Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now,” and “Half the people you know are below average.” Typical for the Eastern student body.

Neil S. Plakcy

Tag: humor funny-humor



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Sitting alone in the cafeteria would just scream “I’m the new girl. Everyone stare at me while I eat.

Kristi Cook

Tag: so-true funny-humor creepy-i-a-way



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Breathe! Breathe! I urged Lily. You can do this naturally.
Fuck that. I want my epidural as soon as we get there.

Erica Orloff

Tag: funny-humor



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You put cow dung on my face?’ ‘Every day religiously until you were three. Why else do you think your skin is so clear?

Renita D'Silva

Tag: humor humour funny india funny-humor indian-author indian-authors indian-quote indian-fiction



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Care to explain?” Ari asked.

“Didn’t you see my signals?”

“Yeah. But they didn’t make sense. Five into one and it’s an intrusion.”

“It’s an illusion! Five of them are an illusion.”

“That’s not the signal for illusion. This is.” Ari demonstrated the proper signal.

“That’s what I did.”

“No, you didn’t. You did a weird twisty thing with your pinky.”

“I had a scimitar at my throat. I’d like to see you try signaling under those conditions.”
-Janco and Ari bickering

Maria V. Snyder

Tag: funny argument funny-humor bickering funny-and-random funny-quotes



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Mom lies down next to me and we both stare at the ceiling in complete silence. “Boys are like candy,” she suddenly says. I grin. “Really, Mom? That’s your advice? Boys are like candy. What is that? Forrest Gump on teens?

Rucy Ban

Tag: inspirational advice mother daughter funny-humor teenage-love



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You know when you mix butt and Angel in the same sentence, it becomes an insult,” I say and take a big gulp from the can. With his back to me, he says, “Trust me, I would never dream of insulting your butt. I’m sure it’s better than anything I’m cooking out here.

Rucy Ban

Tag: romantic lovers funny-humor



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Never make eye contact with a stranger when you’re having a churro.

Rucy Ban

Tag: witty funny-humor quirky funny-and-random



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Soul, love, joy and natural beauty shines first from within. Make time for quiet reflective moments. Be still and know there is more than just Botox and pink martinis for women over 40.

Machel Shull

Tag: beauty joy soulful funny-humor over-40



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you’ve been all black and white, like Kansas. It’s time to get back to Oz. Enjoy the colors.

Kaje Harper

Tag: books funny-humor gay-romance



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