If you want breakfast in bed, you have to concider sleeping in the kitchen
Foster "Raul" MkhabeleTags: funny-quotes
i like it because it is so funny and harry is so rude and but sometime he ca be nice to people.
Suzy KlineTags: funny-quotes
How can you stand touching her?” my sister blurted, staring at our clasped hands. “Doesn’t that hurt?”
I seized on the change of topic. “These gloves are specialized rubber. They block the current.”
Gretchen’s gaze traveled over Vlad, disbelief still stamped on her features. “Yeah, but how do you two do anything else, unless he has a special, currentrepelling
glove for his—”
“Gretchen!” my father cut her off.
My cheeks felt hot. Don’t say a word, I thought to Vlad, seeing his chest tremble with suppressed laughter.
“He has a natural immunity,” I gritted out.
Tags: humor funny-quotes
Yes! Yes! There's the attitude. Where was that girl during the race? Off getting sushi?
Doug SolterTags: attitude girl-power sushi funny-quotes motor-racing
Turner let his face fell into his hands. "I'm never going to touch her again", he moaned.
"He's never going to touch me again!" they heard Miranda roar.
"Well,it doesn't look like you'll have much argument from your wife on that point", Olivia chirped.
Tags: funny-quotes
I am Butler. Anything I say sounds scary.
Eoin ColferTags: funny-quotes
Intelligent life on other planets? I'm not even sure there is on earth!
Albert EinsteinTags: intelligence life-lessons funny-quotes
When approaching a prospective human, first ask them what their name is.
* If it replies "Brains," blow its fucking head off.
* If it replies "Brian," ask it again, as you may have encountered a zombie with a speech impediment, or a zombie that was mildly retarded in life.
* Keep in mind that it is entirely possible that you did encounter a human named "Brian.
Tags: humor zombie zombies funny-quotes zombie-apocalypse assholery
Lindsay calls them the Pugs: pretty from far away, ugly up close.
Lauren OliverTags: funny-quotes
I’ve seen daggers pierce the chest,
Children dying in the road,
Crawling things hooked and baited,
Rapists bound and then castrated,
Villains singed in public square.
Yet none these sights did make me cringe
Like when my Love cut all her hair.
Tags: humor love girls women poem fashion violence hair haircut trauma shock cutting-hair hair-drama funny-quotes traumatic-experiences haircuts traumatic
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