Not to alarm you or anything, but I think you just made a deal with a Mexican gang." I've read Simone Elkeles books. I know how this whole garage as a front thing works.

Tammy Blackwell

Tags: funny-quotes book-reference



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No punching?" he asked.
"No."
"No kicking?"
"No."
"How about arm wrestling?"
"No. And before you ask, we've avoided Slug Bug, Slap Bets, and any and all Dance-Offs."

Fate Succumbs

Tammy Blackwell

Tags: funny-quotes



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There really isn't much use in getting into a pissing contest since I have to sit down to pee anyway.

Tammy Blackwell

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Have you ever chopped down something with an ax? Not fun. I now have serious doubts regarding George Washington and his cherry tree.

Tammy Blackwell

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I've got everything ready to go," I said once he was finally awake and dressed.
All the tenderness and vulnerability was gone from his face when he said, "Go where?"
"America?"
His eyes narrowed. "This is America."
"This is Canada."
"Which is in North America."
Silly Canadians wanting be part of the Cool Kids Club.

Tammy Blackwell

Tags: funny-quotes canadian-humor



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You sure are a sweet girl, Scout. I'm half tempted to keep you."
"Ummm... Thanks?" Knowing she was a potential Alpha I worried about what "keeping me" might entail. Probably chains. And whips. And maybe a dog collar.
And now I was going to have to live with scary Fifty Shades Aunt Rachel pictures living in my head for all time.

Tammy Blackwell

Tags: funny-quotes fifty-shades-of-grey-humor



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You ‘accidentally’ touched his bottom? Didn’t that happen when you last saw him as
well? Surprising how often that seems to be a problem.

Twisted Hilarity

Tags: funny-quotes



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Excellent,” said Lupin, looking up as Tonks and Harry entered.
“We’ve got about a minute, I think. We should probably get out into the garden so we’re ready. Harry, I’ve left a letter telling your aunt and
uncle not to worry —”
“They won’t,” said Harry.
“That you’re safe —”
“That’ll just depress them.”
“— and you’ll see them next summer.”
“Do I have to?

J.K. Rowling

Tags: remus-lupin dursley funny-quotes



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Hey! When he dug into it, rifling through her things, she snapped, "Go Yoda someone else's supplies, asshole.

Kresley Cole

Tags: funny-quotes



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You've always been there for me. Always. Even when I…" V
"Even when you what?" B
"You know." V
"What?" B
"Fuck. Even when I was in love with you. Or some shit." V
Butch clasped his hands to his chest. "Was? Was? I can't believe you've lost interest." He threw one arm over his eyes, all Sarah Bernhardt. "My dreams of our future are shattered—" B
"Shut it, cop." V
Butch looked out from under his arm. "Are you kidding me? The reality show I had planned was fantastic. Was going to pitch it to VH1. Two Bites Are Better Than One. We were going to make millions ." B
"Oh, for the love.

J.R. Ward

Tags: funny-quotes



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