Matt would stare at Andrew for 10 minutes. It's depressing that people are different. Everyone should be one person, who should then kill itself in hand-to-hand combat.

Tao Lin

Tags: funny



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Zebrowski says that if you killed someone else just hide the body, he's not starting over on the paperwork.

Laurell K. Hamilton

Tags: funny bad-ass anita-blake



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Nicole can do anything that involves a ball and whistle.

Laurie Halse Anderson

Tags: funny true looks up to cool



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Somebody dies and people eat your food. Funny how that works.

Sherman Alexie

Tags: funny



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How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies.

George Carlin

Tags: humor god funny



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As it stands right now, I lead Richard Pryor in heart attacks, two to one. However, Richard still leads me, one to nothing, in burning yourself up.

George Carlin

Tags: humor funny comedy



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How is it possible to have a civil war?

George Carlin

Tags: humor war funny terminology euphemism



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The planet is fine. The people are fucked.

George Carlin

Tags: humor humanity funny



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If everyone in the world sat quietly at the same time, closed their eyes and concentrated as hard as they could on peace and goodwill, all the killing and cruelty in the world would continue. And probably increase.

George Carlin

Tags: humor compassion peace funny



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Always drink upstream from the herd.

Will Rogers

Tags: advice funny



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