Barzûl!

Christopher Paolini

Tags: humor funny eragon eldest brisingr orik



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Pressure is something you feel when you don't know what the hell you're doing.

Peyton Manning

Tags: funny football peyton-manning



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I hung up the phone, jubilant, and threw myself into a wall, then pretended to be getting electrocuted. I do this when I'm very happy.

Dave Eggers

Tags: funny



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That explains a lot,' he said. 'I suppose it's also why we've never glimpsed that giant compass in the corner of the Atlantic. I have to say, I'm a little disappointed.

Gideon Defoe

Tags: funny maps pirates



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Knock yourself out... Or rather, don't.

Eoin Colfer

Tags: humour funny



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Books can also provoke emotions. And emotions sometimes are even more troublesome than ideas. Emotions have led people to do all sorts of things they later regret-like, oh, throwing a book at someone else.

Pseudonymous Bosch

Tags: humor funny emotions manga anime provoke troublesome



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He’s always asking: ‘Is that new? I haven’t seen that before.’ It’s like, Why don’t you mind your own business? Solve world hunger. Get out of my closet.

Michelle Obama

Tags: humor funny fashion obama michelle-obama



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I swore I'd never become some lord's brainless arm ornament and political host, but I've become far worse. I'm a glorified housekeeper and sperm donor.
-from the journal of Payton Marcus Townsend.

J.L. Langley

Tags: funny payton



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Huevos up. Swing up to the window, swing back to Al B. Hall, who says, "Bless you," and would I get him a bottle of Satan's Red-Hot Revenge for the eggs?
Sure thing, Pastor.

Joan Bauer

Tags: funny awesome



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Revenge of the Giant Grill Man.

Joan Bauer

Tags: funny self-explanatory



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