Is that all you bought?” His eyes shot to the left. “Um.” I clenched my teeth. “What else?” “A Super Mega Juicer,” he said quickly. “But, Sabina, seriously that juicer is a miracle machine.” “I’m a vampire, Giguhl. The only liquids I drink are blood and alcohol. I don’t do juice.
Jaye WellsTags: funny
Wait,” he said, pulling me to a stop when I tried to march off toward my destiny. “Is there something you want to tell me?”
I looked at him, trying to think of anything I’d done recently that I needed to admit to. When nothing came to mind other than the usual, I shook my head. “Not really. Why?”
He reached out and touched my leather jacket. “Is that a bullet hole?”
Freaking great.
Tags: funny
Suspicion," he said. "Directed by Alfred Hitchcock. He's a genius." "Starring Cary Grant." When Lucas gave me a look, I added, "You have your priorities, I have mine.
Claudia GrayTags: funny
Vic knelt by Lucas's side. 'You look like crap, by the way.'
'Thanks for breaking it to me gently.' Lucas took a deep breath, then groaned.
Tags: funny
Tags: humor sex humour funny memoir comedy
They call me, The Sharkalator
James PattersonTags: funny sobriquet maximum-ride boasting nicknames name-calling gazzy
I apologized to her once for spending less time with her, but she blew it off. "You're in love. That makes you actually kind of boring to people who aren't in love. You know, the sane ones.
Claudia GrayTags: funny
Self-knowledge is better than self-control any day," Raquel said firmly. "And I know myself well enough to know how I act around cookies.
Claudia GrayTags: funny temptation self-knowledge
If you can't do anything about it, laugh like hell.
David CookThe Brit's face shares a heritage with a junkyard butt-sniffing mutt. It's a hard-earned moonshine mug, dotted with a hairy mole that looks like a rat's been gnawing on it. His beard looks like a white sneeze. The teeth are jagged and out of alignment, having opened quarts at Jiffy Quick Lube for half a decade.
Brett TateTags: humor sex humour funny memoir comedy
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