I am like a dead begonia hanging upside down because like a dead begonia I don't give a f**k.

David Levithan

Tags: funny will-grayson-will-grayson funny-poetry

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These are the best things I've ever had in my mouth!

Mora Early

Tags: food funny irony delicious

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First, I’m going to teach you how to Irish Whip someone.”

“Oh, that sounds kinky. I want my safeword to be peaches,” I said, grinning.

Kyle Adams

Tags: light funny gay lgbt banter wrestling kyle-adams dreamspinner-press prize-package

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I had liked him for all the wrong reasons.

Wendelin Van Draanen

Tags: humor romance funny drama

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I have a funny side. I have a soft and sympathetic side. I have a serious side, and a seriously romantic side. I have lots of sides; it's the main course I haven't quite figured out.

Richelle E. Goodrich

Tags: funny personality richelle sides richelle-goodrich

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I can see clearly now,
my brain is gone.

Lucy

Cathy Hopkins

Tags: love funny brain-is-gone

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Owl love you forever

David Sedaris

Tags: funny humer card

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Fine, I'll touch you, briefly, but only because you sound like you need the praise that your body's hot, and I'm totally selfless like that.

Kyle Adams

Tags: funny

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Babe, best wool men ever pulled was lettin’ women think we think with our dicks. We pay a fuckuva lot of attention. We know your shit maybe more than you do because we live it right along with you and some of you try to make us eat it. It’s just that some of us choose not to get sucked in the drama and instead focus on getting laid regularly.”
I felt my eyes get big right before I wrapped my arms around him and started giggling, but I managed to push through my giggles, “Honey, not sure you should share the brotherhood’s secrets.”
“You talk, no woman will listen. They prefer to think a man’s brain is in his dick. Gives ’em something to bitch about.

Kristen Ashley

Tags: funny alpha-male male-philosophy

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He'll have that scar forever."

"Couldn't you do something about it, Dumbledore?"

"Even if I could, I wouldn't. Scars can come in handy. I have one myself above my left knee that is a perfect map of the London Underground.

J.K. Rowling

Tags: wisdom optimism humour funny magic scars scar london positivity body-positivity

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