Friends are like bras, attached near your heart for support. Foes are like panties, deported, every now and then, when they get dirty.
Santosh KalwarTags: inspirational friends love funny
Weetzie could see him--it was a man, a little man in a turban, with a jewel in his nose, harem pants, and curly-toed slippers.
"Lanky Lizards!" Weetzie exclaimed.
"Greetings," said the man in an odd voice, a rich, dark purr.
"Oh, shit!" Weetzie said.
"I beg your pardon? Is that your wish?
Tags: humor funny wishes weetzie-bat fifi genies
I can't believe he didn't have the dignity and presence of mind just to get drunk and pass out in some gutter," said Jace. "I must say, I'm disappointed in the little fellow.
Cassandra ClareI thought I'd lie on the floor and writhe in pain for a while," he grunted, "It relaxes me."
"It does? Oh - you're being sarcastic. That's a good sign probably.
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
Erma BombeckTags: friendship funny
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
Groucho MarxTags: funny
A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
Bob HopeTags: funny
A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.
H.L. MenckenTags: funny
Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.
Hedy LamarrTags: funny
Be able to go shopping for a bathing suit and not become depressed afterward.
Marilyn vos SavantTags: funny
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