He twisted at the waist and stretched out on his side. “You’re a bit crazy. You throw apples in people’s faces when you’re angry. You go off half-cocked half the time. It entertains me to no end. So if you are irrational, I hope you stay that way. I love it.

Jennifer L. Armentrout

Tags: funny crazy



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From: Beth Fremont
To: Jennifer Scribner-Snyder
Sent: Thurs, 09/30/1999 3:42 PM
Subject: If you were Superman …

… and you could choose any alter ego you wanted, why the hell would you choose to spend your Clark Kent hours — which already suck because you have to wear glasses and you can’t fly — at a newspaper? Why not pose as a wealthy playboy like Batman? Or the leader of a small but important nation like Black Panther? Why would you choose to spend your days on deadline, making crap money, dealing with terminally crabby editors?

Rainbow Rowell

Tags: funny journalism clark-kent attachments rainbow-rowell



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I think he fucked me stupid"- McKenzie Matthews- Being Beckett's

P.S. Berryman

Tags: funny dirty sexy silly



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We can't against human stupidity. Because they are too many and too dangerous.

Nobita Nobi

Tags: funny fun funny-but-true funny-quotes



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I think I could orgasm just looking at him,” she moaned

Samantha Young

Tags: funny orgasm



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The dust made Lily cough. She buried her face in the crook of her arm to muffle the noise. But behind all that wood, they probably could play the 1812 Overture with real cannons and nobody would hear them.

Ellie McDonald

Tags: humor funny wood dust 1812-overture



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Now it is easy to perceive that the moral part of love is a factitious sentiment, engendered by society, and cried up by the women with great care and address in order to establish their empire, and secure command to that sex which ought to obey.

Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Tags: humor gender funny obedience sexism roles



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Oh, yeah, this girl was going down. She had no idea who she was messing with. And, sadly, she didn’t seem to care.
I hoped her drawer came up short at the end of her shift. Karma’s a bitch.

Darynda Jones

Tags: funny charley-davidson humor-books



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I climbed into Misery and called Uncle Bob. “We hooking up?”
“Why does everything out of your mouth make me sound incestuous?”
“Um, I wasn’t aware that it did. Perhaps you have a guilty conscience.”
“Charley.”
“Is there something you need to get off your chest? Besides that skank I saw you with the other day?

Darynda Jones

Tags: funny charley-davidson humor-books uncle-bob



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Charley's "FOR THE LOVE OF":

“Oh,FOR THE LOVE OF gravy”

“Just be honest with me, FOR THE LOVE OF applesauce, Gemma.”

“But FOR THE LOVE OF marinara, I typed, don’t shoot anyone.

Darynda Jones

Tags: humor funny charley-davidson charley-davidson-humor



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