Fat people are funny … until obesity pays your loved one a visit.
Mokokoma MokhonoanaTags: humor family humour funny obesity fat
When nature calls, I don't let it go to voicemail.
Nenia CampbellTags: humor life funny true-to-life
Religion is like a blind man looking in a black room for a black cat that isn't there, and finding it.
AnonymousTags: humor lies funny skeptic myth skepticism deceit wishful-thinking
I’ll pray for good semen. And I’ll get all of my friends to pray for good semen.
Buffy AndrewsTags: funny book-quotes writers-world buffy-andrews gina-and-mike yearbook-series
The pimple is perfect.
Buffy AndrewsTags: funny book-quotes writers-world buffy-andrews gina-and-mike yearbook-series
You deserve good sperm. You’ve waited a long time.
Buffy AndrewsTags: humor funny book-quotes writers-world buffy-andrews gina-and-mike yearbook-series
I was just thinking that he might be willing. It’s not like he needs his semen.
Buffy AndrewsTags: humor funny book-quotes gina-and-mike yearbook-series
I already have my bathroom time scheduled, so you’ll have to work around it. Please note the bathroom is unavailable for the hour before each of my scheduled usage times (I don’t like to feel as if someone has just been in there when I have to go). However, for your convenience, there is also a toilet available with minimal wait time on the first floor lobby if you have an emergency and need immediate use.
Kyle AdamsTags: funny wtf bad-roommates
I glared at Christian as the blood smeared around. “You could have at least licked it.”
He smirked darkly. “I hear that all too often.
Tags: humor dark paranormal-romance funny blood vampire urban-fantasy smear glare lick smirk licked
Daemon laughed "I'm only at the service of one person in particular"
My cheeks flamed as I scooted my chair over. "You are not servicing me in any way."
He leaned in, closing my newly gained distance. "Not yet."
"Oh, come on, Daemon I'm right here." Dee frowned. "You're about to make me lose my appetite."
"Like that will ever happen." Lisa retorted with an eye roll.
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