I know you're saying something profound, but it's hard to focus when your tits are out.
Christina LaurenTags: funny hot max-stella
They sent the shrink round yesterday. He's put me on Prozac. Prozac! He thinks I'm depressed.'
'Aren't you depressed?'
'I wasn't depressed.'
'You did try to kill yourself,' I pointed out.
'Yes. That's what he said too. Apparently that's a classic symptom. It's not thought a sane plan of action for someone in my situation.
Tags: humor funny woods alex gavin extence
I think one of the problems in this country is that too many people are screwing things up, committing crimes and then getting on with their lives. What is really needed for public officials who shame themselves is ritual suicide.
George CarlinOh, shit," said Arthur, covering his face with his hands for a moment and screwing his eyes shut."You've been co-opted.She's got you spying on me already? My God,she's quick.""Oh, shut up and get over yourself!"exclaimed Merlin, indignantly."Not everything's about you,you know, your Royal Hotness. Highness. I said Highness.
FayJayTags: funny the-student-prince
This was Jonan's boat. She had helped Nan Seller dose his entire crew against the annual diarrhea outbreak known as the "winter runs
Sarah ZettelTags: humor funny chena diarrhea kingdom-of-cages
but then again, they
were like baby Einsteins on crack.
Tags: humor funny origin katy-swartz
Would I laugh?"
"Matter of fact, you would," says Zeb. "Heart like shale. What you need is a good fracking.
Tags: funny puns pun fracking shale
Who am I? I’m the Breeze, bitch!
Michael GrantHe runs his eye along the row of knives in their racks, the cleavers for splitting bones. He picks one up, looks at its edge, decides it needs sharpening and says, "Do you think I look like a murderer? In your good opinion?"
A silence. After a while, Thurston proffers, "At this moment, master, I would have to say...
Tags: humor murder funny murderers knives
Analysis is soul of thought and ghost of wit.
Raheel FarooqTags: funny thought wit analysis
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