No one wears buckles anymore, and I decided to get him some real boots next winter solstice.Some sexy guy boots. Yeah.

Kim Harrison

Tags: funny rachel al stoned



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Life is too fleet for onomatopoeia.

Mervyn Peake

Tags: life death gormenghast funny living life-lessons witty onomatopoeia fleet out-of-context



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If you're trapped in the dream of the Other, you're fucked.

Gilles Deleuze

Tags: humor philosophy relationships funny dream other fucked-up



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The only difference between me and a famous writer is that I do not want to be famous.

Santosh Kalwar

Tags: inspirational funny



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Well, someone slap my butt and give me a hero cookie. (Nick)

Sherrilyn Kenyon

Tags: funny sarcasm hero



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The trouble with aggressive nonsmokers is that they feel they are doing you a favor by not allowing you to smoke. They seem to think that one day you'll look back and thank them for those precious fifteen seconds they just added to your life. What they don't understand is that those are just fifteen more seconds you can spend hating their guts and plotting revenge.

David Sedaris

Tags: humor funny joke vindictive



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The combination of ammonia and chloride can be lethal but I've discovered it can work miracles as long as you keep telling yourself, "I want to love, I want to live...

David Sedaris

Tags: humor funny joke cleaning



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Love is the emotion that a woman feels always for a poodle dog and sometimes for a man.

George Jean Nathan

Tags: funny



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Who is this repulsive dwarf?

Kim Hunter

Tags: funny golgath kim-hunter



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Drab?" Soldier yelled. "I'll give you drab. Beat her, would you? Beat my wife? I'll feed your head to the vultures, you snotty little hamster with your golden pelt and buttery looks!

Kim Hunter

Tags: funny soldier kim-hunter wizard-s-funeral



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