You’re far too prickly tempered to be a mistress. You’re far better suited as a wife.
Lisa KleypasTags: funny historical-romance
The rabbit of Easter. He bring of the chocolate.
David SedarisAnd while my mind is telling me I'm flirting with her just to prove a point, my body wants to play "you show me your perky privates and I'll show you mine.
Simone ElkelesTags: funny rules-of-attraction
Normal? I'm not normal enough for you?" Carlos says. "You want this guy instead? Did you notice his hair doesn't move? That's not normal. You want to date him again, go ahead. Hell, if you want to marry him and be Kiara Barra the rest of your life, be my guest."
"That's not want I--"
"I don't want to hear it. Hasta," Carlos says, ignoring me and walking away.
I feel my face heat in embarrassment as I look at Michael. "Sorry. Carlos can he abrasive sometimes."
"Don't apologize. The guy obviously has major issues and, for the record, my hair moves... when I want it to.
Tags: funny rules-of-attraction
He was warm, partly because he had on many layers, and partly because boys whoa re part wolf and part wind do not get cold.
Dave EggersThe female mind is certainly a devious one, my lord."
Vetinari looked at his secretary in surprise. "Well, of course it is. It has to deal with the male one.
Tags: funny men-and-women gender-stereotypes
She blinked. "Hmm? Oh, don't care. What did Anubis look like to you?"
"What did... he looked like a guy. So?"
"A good-looking guy, or a slobbering dog-headed guy?"
"I guess... Not the dog-headed guy."
"I knew it!" Sadie pointed at me as if she'd won an argument.
"Good-looking. I knew it!"
And with a ridiculous grin, she spun around and skipped into the house.
My sister, as I may have mentioned, is a little strange.
Tags: strange funny the-red-pyramid
It's sometimes funny to watch some people doing
something the wrong way but doing it confidently.
Even more funny, they succeeded.
Tags: funny wrong fun watch confident way watching succeeded
When I die, I want them to bury me facedown and ass up so that the whole world can kiss my ass!
Julie HalpernOne of the greatest pieces of advice I’ve ever gotten in my life was from my mom. When I was a little kid there was a kid who was bugging me at school and she said “Okay, I’m gonna tell you what to do. If the kid’s bugging you and puts his hands on you; you pick up the nearest rock...
Johnny DeppTags: advice funny mom johnny-depp bullies
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