Tags: funny



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Believe me, It would be better if we didn't meet again. Go back to school. Go back to your life. And next time they ask you, say no. Killing is for grown-ups and you're still a child.

Anthony Horowitz

Tags: humor inspirational different funny killing interesting kind incentive



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You gotta be careful: don't say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.

Johnny Depp

Tags: silence funny talking careful



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Some people were just getting on with their lives, chatting, being young. It simply wouldn't do.

Russell Brand

Tags: life youth funny chatting



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He shook his head, but I kept flattering him, telling him how fine his beard was, how fair his skin was (ha!), how it was obvious from his nose and forehead that he wasn't some pig herd who had converted, but a true-blue Muslim who had flown here on a magic carpet all the way from Mecca, and he grunted with satisfaction

Aravind Adiga

Tags: funny flattery



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I thought, What a miserable life he's had, having to hide his religion, his name, just to get a job
as a driver—and he is a good driver, no question of it, a far better one than I will ever be.
Part of
me wanted to get up and apologize to him right there and say, You go and be a driver in Delhi.
You never did anything to hurt me. Forgive me, brother.


I turned to the other side, farted, and went back to sleep.

Aravind Adiga

Tags: funny



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Poncho was in a red mood slanging with rage and needed to cook himself out of it , while shoving handfuls of salted peanuts down his gullet and slurping ice cold Fanta

Saira Viola

Tags: funny comedy satirical



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The wolf said, "You know, my dear, it isn't safe for a little girl to walk through these woods alone."

Red Riding Hood said, "I find your sexist remark offensive in the extreme, but I will ignore it because of your traditional status as an outcast from society, the stress of which has caused you to develop your own, entirely valid, worldview. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must be on my way.

James Finn Garner

Tags: humor politics funny fairy-tales little-red-riding-hood sexist



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Panicky despair is an underrated element of writing.

Dave Barry

Tags: writing funny



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I will make thee think thy swan a crow.

William Shakespeare

Tags: funny



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