One's 'thing'--(1) A point of personal interest; a hobby, sport, or avocation that succinctly defines a person. (2) A brief coupling of words used to evoke someone's personality in a small-talk setting: Billy's thing used to be soccer; now it's masterbation. (3) A laconic summation of one's character and interests used for the purpose of categorization and judgement. See also 'What do you do?

Joshua Braff

Tags: funny definitions



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Hey, Mr. Nakata. Gramps. Fire! Flood! Earthquake! Revolution! Godzilla's on the loose! Get up!

Haruki Murakami

Tags: funny



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The world looks very different to me now at twenty. I have outgrown my early opinions and ideals with my short dresses, just as Mrs. Walton said we would. Now the critics can say 'Thou waitest till thy woman's fingers wrought the best that lay within thy woman's heart.

Annie Fellows Johnston

Tags: ambition funny sophomoric



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This is my depressed stance. When you're depressed, it makes a lot of difference how you stand. The worst thing you can do is straighten up and hold your head high because then you'll start to feel better. If you're going to get any joy out of being depressed, you've got to stand like this.

Charles M. Schulz

Tags: funny sad stupid cute



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My dear fellow " Said Albert, turning to Franz " here is an admirable adventure; we will fill our carriage with pistols, blunderbusses, and double-barreled shotguns. Luigi Vampa comes to take us, and we take him - we bring him back to Rome , and present him to him holiness the Pope, who asks how he can repay so great a service; Then we merely ask for a cariage and a pair of horses, and we will see the Carnival in the carriage , and doubtless the Roman people will crown us at the capitol , and proclaim us, like Curtius and the veiled Horatius, the preservers of there country."

Whilst Albert proposed this scheme, signor Pastrini's face assumed an expression impossible to describe.

Alexandre Dumas

Tags: humor classic funny idea



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A boo is a lot louder than a cheer.

Lance Armstrong

Tags: life acceptance funny rejection



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There was the smell of old books, a smell that has a way of making all libraries seem the same. Some say that smell is asbestos.

Scott Douglas

Tags: libraries funny



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Maruman does not loll.

Isobelle Carmody

Tags: humor humour absurd funny internet cat accidental coincidence lol lolcat loll post-apocalypse pre-meme



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Perv."
He pointed to himself. "Male and eighteen. What's your point?

Rachel Caine

Tags: funny morganvillevampires



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Ten Things You Shouldn't Say on a Date.
1. You're wearing that?
2. Something smells funny.
3. Where's the Tylenol?
4. And to think, I first wanted to date your brother.
5. I have a confession to make…
6. My dad has a suit just like that.
7. That man is hot. Look at him.
8. My ex, may he rot in hell forever…
9. You're going to order that? Seriously?
10. You're how old?

Gena Showalter

Tags: funny dating



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