You know what? You know what? You know what?' I was waving my finger under her nose. 'You scratched the Son of God. That's your ass, that's what.
Christopher MooreTags: hilarious
Son of a motherfucking, ass-reaming, shit-eating, hell-dodging soulless bitch!
Rachel VincentTags: hilarious
Now that he knew there was the possibility of gay porn in his future he was a happy hamster.
Tam Ames - CagedTags: hilarious
But you have so much in common. You're both from strange little backwater planets. You both have odd powers. You're male and she's female. What more do you need? Believe me, buddy, if I were you, I'd go right up there and ask her if she wants to ride on my rancor.
Dave WolvertonTags: double-entendre hilarious han-solo
Shane waved a hand. “Please, we know that all it
takes to get into your pants is a Hot Pocket and a
NetFlix rental.
Ava,"Since she
was right, Daddy Shane has been calling her our
walking, talking Magic 8 Ball, although we’re not
allowed to shake her when we want answers.
Did those nice church ladies come by again?"
He nodded. "I asked them if a man died and then the woman remarried, and then the three of them met in heaven, would it be a sin for them to have a threesome, since they were all married in God's eye. And they decided they were late to be somewhere else.
Tags: church funny awesome hilarious threesome kate-daniels andrea ascanio
(…) Trying to think of how to take the least crowded ways to class, so the least amount of people will stare at the hole in my neck. Sometimes it feels like it has a beacon in it, flashing for the entire world to see, except it's not cool like the Bat signal.
Keary TaylorTags: funny witty hilarious batman
I came up with my own expression. I like to make it hail. Yeah. That's when you throw change on sluts.
Daniel ToshTags: funny comedy hilarious daniel-tosh
Oh man, Alex. That's sad. Seriously, mate, go get yourself laid."
"What?" He gave Baldrick a quick kiss on his little head--he didn't care how stupid he looked, he loved his ugly cat--and put him down on his kitty bed in the corner.
"Isn't that what single sad people do--get cats when they've given up on human companionship?
Tags: hilarious the-truth-about-cats
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