God help him if any of them ever came true. Why, he'd be a two-headed, three-toed, monkey-nosed, blind son of a cesspit-licking lackey is she had her way.
Kinley MacGregorTags: hilarious
It was all fun and games until someone else's dick was in your girlfriend's TMJ mouth
Tara SivecTags: hilarious
Chubi, rhymes with booby, which you don't have, or doodie, which your face looks like," she said smugly, leaning back and making her chair squeak.
Kim HarrisonTags: humor hilarious memorable insults-and-slander
Follow my finger." He moved it around, tracking my eye movements. "Any blurred vision?"
"Well I think I'm hallucinating, because I see a big talking pile of crap." - Joanne Baldwin.
Tags: hilarious
How could I not fall in love with him," she asked. And on the tail end of her words, her bedroom door flew open and closed just as fast.
Jen bent over, panting heavily as she looked up at Sally.
"Hey Sally girl. Who we falling in love with?" Jen asked breathlessly.
"Jen, what's wrong?" Sally paused and then decided on a better question. "What have you done now?"
Jen stood up and took two deep breaths. Seeming to have regained her wind, she spoke quickly.
"First off, I've changed my mind. I don't want you to name your first born after me."
Sally interrupted. "Thank goodness for that," she muttered.
"I want you to name your entire freaking litter after me," Jen growled. "Do you know what I've been through?" Jen's arms were flinging around as she glared at Sally. "I did that little strip tease to try and keep things from escalating with the rest of the pack and Decebel was beyond pissed. I had to sneak out of the gathering room and make a run for it. I've been running through the freaking forest trying to throw him off by changing back and forth so that I could place my clothes that I carried in my freaking muzzle. CARRIED IN MY MUZZLE SALLY! I put them in different places to throw off him off my scent." Jen went over to Sally's window and was trying to judge the danger of using it as an exit.
Tags: humour funny babies hilarious jen sally strip-tease
I think I kind of like the idea of you all cold and wet."
"Oh right, I'll be at my best; no visible balls, and a dick that looks like a Chiclet..."
"I can fix that," laughed Connor.
Tags: hilarious
Mockery be damned, my urine looked delicious.
Yann MartelTags: survival hilarious life-of-pi
Just remember: when your nerd talks to someone about "man tar", it has nothing to do with the stickiness on your sheets.
Piper VaughnTags: hilarious laughed-out-loud
He even dressed up for you. He only has one stain on his t-shirt.- Rylie Cruz
Rose Pressey BetancourtTags: hilarious
As for the comparatively small class of violent crimes against persons, unconnected with any idea of gain, they were almost wholly confined, even in your day, to the ignorant and bestial; and in these days, when education and good manners are not the monopoly of a few, but universal, such atrocities are scarcely ever heard of.
Edward BellamyTags: humor crime hilarious 19th-century terrible oh-19th-century
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