Jack fell to his knees on the bench, his eyes rolling back in ecstasy a he clutched both hands to his heart. "Oh, heavens above, to have seen such beauty with my own eyes! It's more than I ever hoped for. But how can I live now, knowing that you're not mine? Please." He crawled forward to the edge of the bench. "Marry me. Nay, marriage will cost is precious moments together. Let us make sweet, passionate love right here. Let me beat your children.
Kiersten WhiteTags: humor jack haha miss-lynn-the-gym-teacher
Another growl, this one sounding like "you!" Or perhaps, "eew!" because that's certainly how I felt about this whole exchange. Everyone stopped laughing and watched, wide-eyed with horror, unsure whether to stay or distance themselves from the inevitable outcome, which would quite possibly involve Jack's dismemberment.
I didn't know who to root for.
Tags: humor jack evie miss-lynn-the-gym-teacher
She held up her calloused, grimy fingers. Leo couldn't help thinking there was nothing hotter than a girl who didn't mind getting her hands dirty. But of course, that was just a general comment. Didn't apply to Calypso. Obviously.
Rick RiordanTags: humor love funny calypso leo-valdez
Huh," Leo said. "Well, if you ever get off this island and want a job, let me know. You're not a total klutz."
She smirked. "A job, eh?" Making things in your forge?"
"Nah, we could start our own shop," Leo said, surprising himself. Starting a machine shop had always been one of his dreams, but he'd never told anyone about it. "Leo and Calypso's Garage: Auto Repair and Mechanical Monsters.
Tags: humor love funny calypso leo-valdez
Personally, I don't think that having a water goddess for an ancestress is a guarantee of freedom against seasickness, nor come to that, shipwreck.
Philippa GregoryTags: humor seasickness
Claiming "the budget can't allow it" reminds me of when you walk into a restaurant at a civilized hour like ten o'clock and they say "the kitchen is closed." For years I would hear this, and think, "damn, just a little too late, oh well, thank you, I guess it's Denny's again."
And then one day it hit me: kitchens don't close. Just as at home, at a certain point in the night, I stop using the kitchen--but at three in the morning, if I want to, I still have the ability to go downstairs and "re-open" the kitchen by turning on the stove and opening the refrigerator! Restaurants are not banks; at the stroke of ten an enormous airlock doesn't seal off the kitchen and render the preparation of food an utter impossibility./ No, kitchens can open and budgets are what certain people say they are.
Tags: humor america analogy impossible budget budgeting economy possible budget-cuts
[On famous Nobel Laureate Niels Bohr]
[Niels] Bohr's sort of humor, use of parables and stories, tolerance, dependence on family, feelings of indebtedness, obligation, and guilt, and his sense of responsibility for science, community, and, ultimately, humankind in general, are common traits of the Jewish intellectual. So too is a well-fortified atheism. Bohr ended with no religious belief and a dislike of all religions that claimed to base their teachings on revelations.
Tags: humor science family stories atheism atheist responsibility teaching tolerance revelation community intellectual jewish humankind jew parables niels-bohr dislike-of-religion obligation-guilt
I hate stupidity, but what I hate even more is when people actually brag about it.
Bill MaherTags: humor stupidity ignorance pride
For months in the fall of 2001, our highways looked like a county fair on wheels. "Look out, Al-Qaeda---patriot on board!" I once saw a guy with five flags tell a guy with four flags to go back to Afghanistan.
Bill MaherTags: humor patriotism 9-11 war-on-terror
Sticking one's head in the sand is a deep human impulse. Like when you feel some kind of bump or growth on the back of your neck, and your heart jumps, because, Christ, that could be something bad, I should see a doctor right away. But then you don't, because it's too scary, and what if they do find something, and...and besides: maybe it will just go away!
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